Lets procrastinate some more, shall we?

Ok, I know that I said I would do this once a week. Which means that I am two days late. I know. My humble apologies.


One of the things that I really miss about being in college?

Being myself.

At work, I kind of have to play the role of a strait lace. Which I pull off admirably (she said modestly).
I duck my head when need to. I let my coworkers think that they are smarter than me. WHich may or may not be the case. Political scientist I am no more. Political activism is in remission. Mine is at least. Instead, I've adopted the guise of a pretty, together, socially acceptable, sober, sweet young woman who wears conservative clothing and doesn't make liberal use of certain 4 letter words.
Without giving too much away, this historically couldn't be further from the truth.
Pre-Grad, I was a girl who knew how to have a good time. Sobriety was an afterthought on weekends, and socially acceptable was never a priority. I didn't think twice about releasing streams of swear words that would bring color to a sailors cheek. I favored low cut tops and high boots. Heels and fishnets when I had them. Okay, so I might have an affinity for dressing like a tramp.
I miss her sometimes. Not all the time, but usually at least once during my 9-5:30 work day when someone yells at me or gropes my ass and all I can do is politely redirect them.



Its also really depressing to me how much what I learned in college is COMPLETELY irrelevant to what I am doing now. Which I would love to tell you about. Really, I could write a blog just on my adventures at work, but I think that might broach some privacy issues, and I really want to keep having a job.

This dawned on my in a new light the other day when i got into an argument over whether China posed an economic threat to the United States. With one of my residents. Sadly, this was one of the more heated and stimulating conversations that I have had about international politics in about 6 months. With a WW2 war vet who I'm pretty sure thinks we are still in 'nam and cannot deviate from the notion that America is number one.


Okay. Lets recap.

I'm intellectually deprived and I can't even dress in hooker boots to comfort myself. Confined in apparel befitting of the president of some poor misguided high school chastity club, I am experiencing a makeunder of sorts.
A soul sucking makeunder.


Fuck it. My mom even stole my snuggie. So I can't even wallow to the best of my abilities.

Someone find me a twilight book to (re?)read.

Fuck you Loans

Student Loans.

Evidently I graduated six months ago. How this happened without it registering that I might actually have to pay someone BACK for that 4 year party, I don't really know. But I do know the following things:

• My job has NOTHING to do with my major, which was political science (more on my major later)
• I only got the job out a a serendipitous sequence of events kickstarted by an act of nepotism over 3 years ago. Were it not for that, I am certain that I would be unemployed
• I am living in the room that I grew up in.
• My mom is now more of a political activist than I am
• I now am the owner of a leopard print snuggie.

So clearly the "real world" that college was supposed to prepare me for is really a life suitable for someone with limited mental and perhaps physical capacity. Really? This is what I worked for 4 years for? And now I have to funnel a large portion of my already measly income into paying for it?

I know I'm being pessimistic. And negative. But you know what? Fuck it. I don't really care. I know I have "options." They include grad school, law school, grad school, or law school. But what do you do when you don't know what you want to do? I'm not going to pump more money into something that I am not sure I want to follow through on.

So I'm left at an impasse. Either bite a bullet and go to grad school/law school for something that I'm ambivalent about, or bide my time in my current stage of arrested development. In a snuggie.

Well. At least I will be damn warm and comfy.